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"DEALING WITH
'ANNOYING' CHAPTERS..." |
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"DEALING WITH
'ANNOYING' CHAPTERS..." |
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What do you do when you are forced, through one means or another, to have to deal or work with a chapter or individuals that is annoying or otherwise difficult to work with? This is a common problem, especially in areas where there are a number of chapters in close proximity. Every chapter has their own way of doing things, and what works for one usually will not work for another. STARFLEET is known for their fierce anonymity, and if we all acted alike and did things the same way, there would only be one chapter in Fleet. Even with that in mind, there are just some chapters that annoy you. Sometimes it is because they are so competitive that it is no fun to work with them, much less be social. Other times they are so impressed with themselves that you get sick of hearing them talk about how great they are. Still other times they just don't do anything unless there is something in it for them, such as publicity or "a favor". And the worst, when they are all of the above. When faced with a chapter like that, you basically have two choices. You can keep it bottled up until you just can't take it anymore. This often times creates hard feelings and a tense environment. Or, you can try and explain to the people or person from the chapter how you feel and why you are annoyed with them. Chances are they do not realize that you have taken offense at their actions. Sometimes it is your fault. I recently learned this the hard way. I jumped all over the CO of another chapter, who is also a good friend of mine, about some things he was doing. I was irritated with his attitude about how great he thinks he is. He acts like his chapter is the end-all-and-be-all of STARFLEET. He is such a jerk! Well, not exactly. In fact, I was the jerk. Instead of telling him, which I am free to do since we are friends, I just pounced on him for asking what, in reality, was a simple question. This is an important point. He was probably not aware that some of the things he was doing were offending me, and I let it build up until I exploded at him. By doing so, I put our friendship, the great relationship our chapters have, and a lot of the work I have done to unify chapters in my area at risk. I have since apologized and because we are good friends there are no hard feelings. What I have come to realize, and what other chapters in this situation should realize, is that just because you THINK something, that does not make it TRUE. My friend wasn’t trying to be ignorant, but because I was already irritated, I took it that way. Had I talked to him about it before I got irritated enough to blow up, we could have avoided the whole problem. Had he been aware I felt this way, he may have been more careful in how he phrased the question. My chapter is not perfect, and neither is my friend’s. We have very different ways of running our chapters. I wouldn’t run mine his way, and he wouldn’t do it mine. But you know what? That’s OK, because we CAN work together. We have in the past and we will in the future. My ship has a great crew and so does his. His ship is NOT better than mine, and mine is NOT better than his. And that is the most important thing to remember when dealing with chapters that you PERCEIVE as annoying. It is YOUR perception. They are not really annoying, just different. Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. It really is what makes the world, and STARFLEET, and interesting place to be.
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